1 00:00:07,239 --> 00:00:08,228 (BANGING ON DOOR) 2 00:00:10,842 --> 00:00:12,070 Sue! 3 00:00:12,144 --> 00:00:14,305 Oh, my goodness. 4 00:00:14,746 --> 00:00:16,441 (LAUGHS) Oh, my goodness. 5 00:00:16,782 --> 00:00:19,080 - How are you doing, girl? - Oh, you know, 6 00:00:19,151 --> 00:00:21,676 I was on my way home and was in the area. 7 00:00:21,753 --> 00:00:23,380 I just wanted to come say, "Hello." 8 00:00:23,455 --> 00:00:24,854 That's it. That is all. 9 00:00:24,923 --> 00:00:27,391 - Have a nice night. - Sue, where you going, girl? 10 00:00:27,459 --> 00:00:29,654 You can't leave without coming inside. 11 00:00:29,728 --> 00:00:33,630 Oh, no, I wouldn't want to be an intrusion. 12 00:00:34,399 --> 00:00:35,991 I just wanted to say, "Hello." 13 00:00:36,068 --> 00:00:37,126 - Good-bye. - Okay, now, Sue. 14 00:00:37,202 --> 00:00:40,365 There is a seat in this house with your name on it, girl. 15 00:00:40,439 --> 00:00:42,407 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 16 00:00:42,474 --> 00:00:44,806 I can't. I didn't have money for the bus. 17 00:00:44,876 --> 00:00:47,367 I'm a mess from the 50-mile walk. 18 00:00:48,680 --> 00:00:51,513 Now, why must you be so difficult, girl? 19 00:00:51,583 --> 00:00:55,019 You're right. I am being difficult, aren't I? 20 00:00:55,087 --> 00:00:57,351 Your life is better without me coming in. 21 00:00:57,422 --> 00:00:58,855 Trust me, so there I go. 22 00:00:58,924 --> 00:01:01,950 Okay, girl, listen, everything is Irie, man. 23 00:01:02,027 --> 00:01:04,257 - We're good friends, all right? - Yes, of course. 24 00:01:04,329 --> 00:01:05,887 - And you know you can smell it, girl. - (SNIFFING) 25 00:01:06,531 --> 00:01:08,260 - You know you smell it, girl. - What's that smell? 26 00:01:08,333 --> 00:01:09,698 You know you're smelling the fried dumplings, 27 00:01:09,768 --> 00:01:10,860 the ackee and the salt fish, girl. 28 00:01:10,936 --> 00:01:12,563 - Oh. - Now, what's come over you? 29 00:01:12,637 --> 00:01:14,832 I should have called. I should have called. 30 00:01:14,906 --> 00:01:15,930 That's it, Sue! 31 00:01:16,007 --> 00:01:19,465 I'm formally inviting you into my home. 32 00:01:19,544 --> 00:01:20,533 Now come inside. 33 00:01:22,147 --> 00:01:23,705 (HISSES) 34 00:01:25,751 --> 00:01:28,982 (SLURPING, FLESH RIPPING) 35 00:01:31,857 --> 00:01:33,415 Crazy crazy 36 00:01:33,992 --> 00:01:35,289 Does is crazy 37 00:01:36,394 --> 00:01:38,658 Make up for adjustment 38 00:01:41,166 --> 00:01:42,690 You jammin' on the verse 39 00:01:43,802 --> 00:01:47,363 First one's planned that you want to do 40 00:01:47,739 --> 00:01:49,639 All I want 41 00:01:49,941 --> 00:01:53,377 But I don't need you 42 00:01:54,279 --> 00:01:57,908 PEELE: I love seeing horror movies in black neighborhoods the best. 43 00:01:57,983 --> 00:01:59,450 - That's the best. - Obviously, everybody. 44 00:01:59,518 --> 00:02:02,851 But it's really because it's a more interactive experience. 45 00:02:02,921 --> 00:02:06,413 - Right, right. - And you get to laugh at the motherfuckers 46 00:02:06,491 --> 00:02:08,186 - in the movie. - Right, right, right, it's good because... 47 00:02:08,260 --> 00:02:09,352 Doing stupid shit. 48 00:02:09,427 --> 00:02:11,361 They be alleviating some tension for you. 49 00:02:11,429 --> 00:02:13,795 "Fuck the kid. He a demon," you know? 50 00:02:14,199 --> 00:02:15,359 "Leave the kid." 51 00:02:15,433 --> 00:02:18,664 That's the best when they just, like, brutally practical. 52 00:02:18,970 --> 00:02:20,062 - "Leave that kid." - Yeah. 53 00:02:20,906 --> 00:02:22,134 "Stab that baby." 54 00:02:25,477 --> 00:02:26,466 Stupid. 55 00:02:26,545 --> 00:02:28,069 - That's a waste of money, dog. - Stupid. 56 00:02:28,146 --> 00:02:31,877 See, I don't even understand how that's even in the horror genre, dog. 57 00:02:31,950 --> 00:02:33,975 Right? I mean, that's the least scared I ever been, man. 58 00:02:34,052 --> 00:02:35,383 It's like a romantic comedy. 59 00:02:35,453 --> 00:02:36,920 It's like a lullaby, dog. 60 00:02:36,988 --> 00:02:38,717 Yeah, for reals though. 61 00:02:38,790 --> 00:02:40,451 Oh, oh, where you parked at? 62 00:02:40,525 --> 00:02:41,753 Oh, what now? 63 00:02:41,827 --> 00:02:44,022 - Where you parked at, dog? - Yeah, I'm over that way, boy. 64 00:02:44,095 --> 00:02:45,562 - Oh, you all the way down there? - Yeah. 65 00:02:45,630 --> 00:02:46,722 Well, I'm this way, dog. 66 00:02:46,798 --> 00:02:49,198 - Oh, all right. All right, dog. - All right. All right. 67 00:02:55,841 --> 00:02:56,830 - You know what? - What's that, dog? 68 00:02:56,908 --> 00:02:58,000 I'll walk you to your car, dog. 69 00:02:58,076 --> 00:02:59,338 - Word, word, word, yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 70 00:02:59,411 --> 00:03:01,003 Then I'll drive you back to your car, dog. 71 00:03:03,114 --> 00:03:05,014 - Dumbass movie, man. - Dumb. 72 00:03:05,083 --> 00:03:07,643 A demon can possess any inanimate object? 73 00:03:07,719 --> 00:03:10,187 That's too general to be scary. 74 00:03:10,255 --> 00:03:15,124 Yo, man, it's like, how you gonna have a demon posting up in a trash can? 75 00:03:15,193 --> 00:03:16,285 I mean, you know, it's dumb. 76 00:03:16,361 --> 00:03:17,988 - It don't make no sense. - It's stupid. 77 00:03:18,063 --> 00:03:19,087 - It don't make... - You know what I'm saying? 78 00:03:19,164 --> 00:03:20,756 - No sense, it's stupid. - It's stupid. 79 00:03:20,832 --> 00:03:22,129 It's unrealistic is what it is. 80 00:03:22,200 --> 00:03:24,566 It's like, I ain't gonna be scared of no trash can. 81 00:03:27,339 --> 00:03:30,831 And what was that other thing they had with the, uh, the demon puddle? 82 00:03:30,909 --> 00:03:31,967 Oh, yeah, yeah. 83 00:03:32,043 --> 00:03:33,874 That was the most stupid part right there. 84 00:03:33,945 --> 00:03:38,143 A demon could pull you into hell if you step in a puddle like, we some morons? 85 00:03:38,216 --> 00:03:40,707 I mean, how you gonna scare a couple adults with a puddle? 86 00:03:40,952 --> 00:03:41,941 - Stupid. - Stupid. 87 00:03:42,654 --> 00:03:44,053 - Stupid. - Stupid. 88 00:03:44,122 --> 00:03:46,522 And the demon got them hellhounds roaming around 89 00:03:46,591 --> 00:03:49,822 everywhere, bringing humans to the demon alive to be sacrificed. 90 00:03:49,895 --> 00:03:51,795 - Come on, man. - (DOG BARKING) 91 00:03:51,863 --> 00:03:53,023 That's just stupid! 92 00:03:53,098 --> 00:03:54,690 - Stupid. - Yeah. 93 00:03:54,766 --> 00:03:56,893 You know, it's like, it's lazy storytelling. 94 00:03:56,968 --> 00:03:58,401 - Yes, yes. - Is what it is. 95 00:03:58,470 --> 00:04:01,701 It's a lot of things, but scary is not one of them. 96 00:04:03,541 --> 00:04:06,408 And what was with all them creepy kids and the whispering and what not? 97 00:04:06,478 --> 00:04:07,502 - Oh, please. - I mean, come on, dog. 98 00:04:07,579 --> 00:04:08,568 - Please, dude. - What are we talking about? 99 00:04:08,647 --> 00:04:10,808 You just identified, like, the stupidest part of the movie. 100 00:04:10,882 --> 00:04:12,349 (BOTH LAUGH) 101 00:04:12,417 --> 00:04:13,975 Then kids, then kids was talking about, 102 00:04:14,052 --> 00:04:16,350 (BREATHILY) "I will steal your soul. I will suck your essence." 103 00:04:16,421 --> 00:04:18,548 - (MUMBLING SPOOKILY) - Okay, yeah, that's stupid right there. 104 00:04:18,623 --> 00:04:20,614 You can stop right now, man, if you just wanted to... 105 00:04:20,692 --> 00:04:22,091 - Please stop! - Yeah. 106 00:04:22,160 --> 00:04:23,320 - 'Cause it's stupid. - It was stupid. 107 00:04:23,395 --> 00:04:24,828 - It was stupid as hell. - It was stupid. 108 00:04:24,896 --> 00:04:26,193 - It was just stupid, what? - This your car? 109 00:04:26,264 --> 00:04:27,697 - This me, dog. - Yeah. 110 00:04:27,766 --> 00:04:30,291 (BOTH SNIFFING) 111 00:04:31,236 --> 00:04:34,603 (GASPS) Yeah, I hope there's not one of them demons possessing your car. 112 00:04:34,673 --> 00:04:37,233 (BOTH LAUGHING) 113 00:04:39,577 --> 00:04:41,272 I'm just stepping right now, for real. 114 00:04:41,346 --> 00:04:42,779 - That's stupid. You being real stupid. - (LAUGHS) 115 00:04:43,214 --> 00:04:45,307 - I'm being stupid. - That was the stupidest part of the movie 116 00:04:45,383 --> 00:04:46,372 right there, dog. 117 00:04:46,451 --> 00:04:48,180 - That was pretty stupid. - (LAUGHING) 118 00:04:48,720 --> 00:04:50,779 That was the stupidest part right there, man, 119 00:04:50,855 --> 00:04:53,653 that part was, that movie was stupid as hell, man. 120 00:04:53,725 --> 00:04:57,593 - (LAUGHING) - Stupid. 121 00:04:57,662 --> 00:04:58,822 Stupid. 122 00:04:58,897 --> 00:05:01,229 - That was the not scariest part of the movie. - (LAUGHING) 123 00:05:01,566 --> 00:05:04,228 - Oh, my God. It was stupid. - Like a demon could possess. 124 00:05:04,302 --> 00:05:06,236 - I mean, it's so stupid. - That was so stupid. 125 00:05:06,304 --> 00:05:09,137 - It was pretty stupid, though, dog. - Oh, my God, 126 00:05:09,207 --> 00:05:11,937 - that was stupid. - It was pretty stupid. 127 00:05:12,010 --> 00:05:14,001 You know what, man? I'm... Shit, I'm sorry, dog, 128 00:05:14,079 --> 00:05:16,980 that you had to watch that dumbass not scary movie. (CHUCKLES) 129 00:05:17,048 --> 00:05:19,073 Oh, man, you know, that's how it goes, that's how it goes. 130 00:05:31,096 --> 00:05:32,620 Give yourself up, Carlo. 131 00:05:32,697 --> 00:05:34,858 CARLO: (ECHOING) Why would I do that, detective, 132 00:05:35,867 --> 00:05:37,994 when I have the upper hand? 133 00:05:38,069 --> 00:05:39,866 (CARLO LAUGHING MANIACALLY) 134 00:05:49,214 --> 00:05:51,045 Give yourself up, Carlo. 135 00:05:52,384 --> 00:05:53,976 I'm right here, detective. 136 00:05:54,052 --> 00:05:55,679 (LAUGHING EVILLY) 137 00:05:57,055 --> 00:05:58,386 Damn it. (GASPS) 138 00:05:58,790 --> 00:06:01,884 Or am I over here, detective? (LAUGHS EVILLY) 139 00:06:01,960 --> 00:06:03,222 (YELLS) 140 00:06:13,204 --> 00:06:14,535 Or here? 141 00:06:15,240 --> 00:06:17,504 - (LAUGHING EVILLY) - (PANTING) 142 00:06:17,575 --> 00:06:21,033 Oh, you sick son of a bitch, where the hell are you? 143 00:06:21,513 --> 00:06:23,208 Huh! (PANTING) 144 00:06:27,218 --> 00:06:28,207 Huh! 145 00:06:28,753 --> 00:06:30,220 You son of a bitch, come out! 146 00:06:30,789 --> 00:06:33,349 Does my ass look big in this jumpsuit? 147 00:06:33,425 --> 00:06:34,983 (LAUGHING EVILLY) 148 00:06:35,060 --> 00:06:36,391 Damn it. 149 00:06:41,399 --> 00:06:42,923 Enough of the games, Carlo. 150 00:06:46,638 --> 00:06:49,664 The games are just beginning, detective. 151 00:06:49,741 --> 00:06:52,141 (LAUGHING MANIACALLY) 152 00:06:56,881 --> 00:07:00,180 Mirror, mirror, on the wall... 153 00:07:00,251 --> 00:07:02,617 (CHUCKLES) 154 00:07:02,687 --> 00:07:05,121 Who's the fairest of them... 155 00:07:05,190 --> 00:07:06,521 Whoa, whoa, whoa. 156 00:07:06,591 --> 00:07:07,580 Don't move. 157 00:07:09,160 --> 00:07:13,824 You are under arrest for the murder of Mary Deely, 158 00:07:13,898 --> 00:07:19,359 Meg Foster and one Detective Mason Jimenez. 159 00:07:20,738 --> 00:07:21,727 Now, where's the girl? 160 00:07:23,408 --> 00:07:28,641 Oh, detective, you assume it's the real me standing in front of you, 161 00:07:30,014 --> 00:07:33,347 but maybe that's just what I want you to think. 162 00:07:35,253 --> 00:07:38,245 When in reality, the real me 163 00:07:38,323 --> 00:07:41,656 is safe in a hiding spah, ah, ah, ah. 164 00:07:41,726 --> 00:07:43,591 Okay, that's the real you, all right. 165 00:07:46,097 --> 00:07:47,189 Or maybe I'm over here. 166 00:07:47,265 --> 00:07:48,857 No, no, you're not over there. 167 00:07:49,601 --> 00:07:51,262 Carlo, I'm only gonna ask you one more time. 168 00:07:51,336 --> 00:07:52,325 Where is the girl? 169 00:07:52,904 --> 00:07:55,737 Go ahead and shoot, detective. (CHUCKLES) 170 00:07:55,807 --> 00:07:59,106 I mean, what do I care if you get seven years bad... 171 00:07:59,177 --> 00:08:00,166 - (GUN COCKING) - Okay, you know, it's not safe 172 00:08:00,245 --> 00:08:01,576 to keep a gun cocked like that, 173 00:08:01,646 --> 00:08:04,274 even if you are just pointing it at a mirror. 174 00:08:04,349 --> 00:08:06,977 Turn around and put your hands on your head. 175 00:08:08,753 --> 00:08:10,880 Now, for that, you really are going to have 176 00:08:10,955 --> 00:08:12,786 - to find the real me. - Oh, my God, are you kidding me? 177 00:08:12,857 --> 00:08:14,586 - (GUNSHOT) - (GROANING) 178 00:08:16,327 --> 00:08:18,158 - Psht! - Oh, what? 179 00:08:18,229 --> 00:08:19,594 Why would you shoot a mirror? 180 00:08:19,664 --> 00:08:20,961 Carlo, it's you. 181 00:08:21,032 --> 00:08:23,000 I'm holding your lapel. 182 00:08:23,067 --> 00:08:24,898 Now, you're done. It's over. 183 00:08:25,603 --> 00:08:27,366 You're gonna cut your hand on that broken mirror. 184 00:08:27,438 --> 00:08:29,338 - (GUN COCKS) - Where is she? 185 00:08:30,041 --> 00:08:31,668 - Just say it, dude. - Say what? 186 00:08:32,677 --> 00:08:34,406 Say you don't know whether or not this is the real me 187 00:08:34,479 --> 00:08:36,071 or just a reflection in a mirror. 188 00:08:36,948 --> 00:08:37,937 Really? 189 00:08:38,616 --> 00:08:39,742 I'll tell you where she is. 190 00:08:41,319 --> 00:08:45,449 Okay, I don't know whether the you I'm holding on to is really you... 191 00:08:45,523 --> 00:08:48,720 - Or a reflection in the mirror. - Or the reflection in the mirror. 192 00:08:48,793 --> 00:08:50,624 Mmm, all there was to it. 193 00:08:50,695 --> 00:08:52,526 She's under the floorboards by the entrance. 194 00:08:53,031 --> 00:08:56,091 Oh. (GROANING) 195 00:08:56,167 --> 00:08:59,159 I win, detective. (LAUGHING BLEAKLY) 196 00:08:59,237 --> 00:09:01,967 I told you, but, I mean, the mirror told you, 197 00:09:02,040 --> 00:09:03,667 but, well, you know. 198 00:09:03,741 --> 00:09:05,402 Oh, fuck. 199 00:09:10,949 --> 00:09:13,008 PEELE: Yeah, would you rather be a vampire or a werewolf? 200 00:09:13,117 --> 00:09:14,948 Me? Oh, dude, straight up. 201 00:09:15,053 --> 00:09:17,021 Let me get that vamp situation. 202 00:09:17,088 --> 00:09:20,990 You know why? It looks like it hurts to become a werewolf. 203 00:09:21,059 --> 00:09:22,549 - True. - That looks like it hurts. 204 00:09:22,627 --> 00:09:23,787 So a part of me goes, like, 205 00:09:23,861 --> 00:09:27,353 "I'd rather be hungry, I'd rather be intensely hungry..." 206 00:09:27,432 --> 00:09:28,524 Mmm-hmm. 207 00:09:28,600 --> 00:09:30,864 "Than have my bones crack and then reset in the morning." 208 00:09:31,269 --> 00:09:33,635 - Yeah, you don't want that. - I don't, I'm a wuss. 209 00:09:33,705 --> 00:09:35,195 - I don't need any of that. - Here's the thing. 210 00:09:35,273 --> 00:09:37,104 Vampires be living forever. 211 00:09:38,343 --> 00:09:39,935 I mean, you can't die as a vampire. 212 00:09:40,011 --> 00:09:41,945 But you could if you got a stake through the heart. 213 00:09:42,013 --> 00:09:43,071 - Truth. - So you could just say that. 214 00:09:43,147 --> 00:09:44,136 - You could, "You know what?" - Truth. 215 00:09:44,215 --> 00:09:47,184 "I've been up in this bitch 800 years, ready to die." 216 00:09:47,252 --> 00:09:48,583 It's vampire suicide. 217 00:09:48,653 --> 00:09:50,450 But if I provoked a vampire hunter, 218 00:09:50,521 --> 00:09:52,318 - and he just went slicing through my... - Mmm-hmm. 219 00:09:52,390 --> 00:09:54,858 Good. Or I'd say to a person, "Listen, I'm a vampire. 220 00:09:54,926 --> 00:09:56,826 "I need you to come to this address tomorrow. 221 00:09:56,894 --> 00:09:59,089 "I'm gonna be in my coffin. I'll leave it unlocked." 222 00:09:59,163 --> 00:10:00,926 And just get Kevorkian on it. 223 00:10:01,332 --> 00:10:03,391 - Just go Kevorks. Wouldn't that be the best? - Dude. 224 00:10:03,468 --> 00:10:07,302 - And then... - That would be the best job for Dr. Kevorkian. 225 00:10:07,372 --> 00:10:08,964 Just be a vampire hunter. 226 00:10:11,676 --> 00:10:13,940 - All right, so that's just working easily then. - Go for it, man. 227 00:10:14,012 --> 00:10:16,105 - Okay, good, good, good, good. - You're a good girl to meet. 228 00:10:16,180 --> 00:10:17,272 Oh, that's nuts, man. 229 00:10:17,348 --> 00:10:18,815 - I, I... - Okay, we got to hurry up. Bring on the weed. 230 00:10:18,883 --> 00:10:19,907 I'm gonna get out there. 231 00:10:21,953 --> 00:10:23,250 - Hey. - Oh! 232 00:10:23,321 --> 00:10:24,345 - Sorry. - Sorry. 233 00:10:25,556 --> 00:10:28,821 You all want to do some of that god drug? 234 00:10:34,832 --> 00:10:35,821 No. 235 00:10:35,967 --> 00:10:36,956 What the fuck? 236 00:10:37,035 --> 00:10:38,024 Who's this guy? 237 00:10:38,102 --> 00:10:40,502 You all ever heard of the god drug? 238 00:10:40,571 --> 00:10:43,540 I've never heard of that. 239 00:10:43,608 --> 00:10:47,100 Aka slayer, cutty-cutty, 240 00:10:47,211 --> 00:10:52,376 double cutty, elmo, cat vag. 241 00:10:52,884 --> 00:10:58,049 - Okay. - Long Island brain slice, funt. 242 00:10:58,122 --> 00:10:59,419 - Funt? - Funt. 243 00:10:59,490 --> 00:11:00,889 Funt, I've heard of that. 244 00:11:01,526 --> 00:11:05,223 It takes all your greatest fears and insecurities, 245 00:11:05,296 --> 00:11:08,459 and it gives them teeth and arms, 246 00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:14,529 and then it locks you in a room with them from which you cannot escape. 247 00:11:17,842 --> 00:11:19,434 Oh, that sounds terrible. 248 00:11:19,510 --> 00:11:21,410 - Yeah, I don't want that, man. - None of those words are good. 249 00:11:21,512 --> 00:11:27,678 You realize the face of God is somewhere inside your body, 250 00:11:28,419 --> 00:11:32,822 but you can't find it, and it hates you. 251 00:11:33,291 --> 00:11:36,089 Um, okay, none of us are interested in this drug. 252 00:11:36,160 --> 00:11:37,286 Thank you, sir. 253 00:11:37,362 --> 00:11:39,296 - Nice meeting you. - Let's hear him out. Let's hear him out. 254 00:11:39,931 --> 00:11:43,992 It's a razor sharp crystal you tuck under your eyelid. 255 00:11:44,068 --> 00:11:45,592 - Ooh. - Ugh. 256 00:11:45,670 --> 00:11:49,470 And then when your ocular cavity starts bleeding, 257 00:11:49,540 --> 00:11:51,838 it goes directly into your brain. 258 00:11:52,510 --> 00:11:54,569 I feel like there's got to be a good part. 259 00:11:54,645 --> 00:11:59,878 Yeah, you've just described a life-wrecking physical addiction. 260 00:11:59,984 --> 00:12:04,353 If you'd let him finish, if you'd let him finish, he's gonna get to the euphoria, I'm sure. 261 00:12:04,422 --> 00:12:06,788 Just when you can't take any more, 262 00:12:09,227 --> 00:12:10,660 you poop your mouth. 263 00:12:10,728 --> 00:12:12,218 - I'm sorry, what? - You poop in your mouth? 264 00:12:12,397 --> 00:12:16,424 - No, you poop out of your mouth. - I'm in. 265 00:12:16,501 --> 00:12:18,025 Dude, Jeb, come on, man. 266 00:12:18,102 --> 00:12:20,764 Hey, guys, if people are willing to go through this, the high must be amazing. 267 00:12:20,838 --> 00:12:24,035 Uh, buddy, remember when you did mushrooms and you cried for three hours? 268 00:12:24,108 --> 00:12:25,132 - This is worse than that. - Yeah. 269 00:12:25,209 --> 00:12:26,676 Oh, the eyes. 270 00:12:27,412 --> 00:12:29,243 Oh, oh! 271 00:12:30,415 --> 00:12:32,349 (YELLING) 272 00:12:32,984 --> 00:12:34,713 - Oh, Jeb. - Oh, that hurts! 273 00:12:34,786 --> 00:12:36,651 (BOTH GROANING) 274 00:12:36,721 --> 00:12:38,916 When does it start working? 275 00:12:38,990 --> 00:12:40,719 How should I know? 276 00:12:40,792 --> 00:12:42,623 I don't do drugs. 277 00:12:44,061 --> 00:12:45,494 Drugs are for losers. 278 00:13:08,553 --> 00:13:09,611 This is him. 279 00:13:10,988 --> 00:13:11,977 Yeah, this is him. 280 00:13:12,590 --> 00:13:13,716 Well, I'm very sorry, sir. 281 00:13:14,492 --> 00:13:15,686 Hold on a second. 282 00:13:17,395 --> 00:13:18,487 Wait. 283 00:13:19,764 --> 00:13:20,753 Is this him? 284 00:13:21,833 --> 00:13:23,266 Oh, take your time, sir. There's no rush. 285 00:13:24,602 --> 00:13:26,729 Yes, yes, yes, it's definitely him. 286 00:13:26,804 --> 00:13:29,034 Okay, so if you make your way... 287 00:13:29,106 --> 00:13:30,095 Wait. 288 00:13:31,108 --> 00:13:32,803 It seems like him. 289 00:13:35,313 --> 00:13:38,077 - Yes, yes, it very much could be him. - Okay. 290 00:13:41,519 --> 00:13:43,384 (CLEARS THROAT) So this, this is him? 291 00:13:43,454 --> 00:13:44,614 Although... 292 00:13:45,890 --> 00:13:46,879 Hmm. 293 00:13:48,392 --> 00:13:49,381 Let me just... 294 00:13:55,166 --> 00:13:56,224 Okay, I'm sorry. 295 00:13:56,300 --> 00:13:57,494 Sir, I know that you're blind, 296 00:13:57,568 --> 00:13:59,433 - but you're gonna have to make a decision. - Oh, I'm not blind. 297 00:14:00,771 --> 00:14:02,762 Oh, thank God. (CHUCKLES) 298 00:14:02,840 --> 00:14:03,932 I'm not a mortician. 299 00:14:05,042 --> 00:14:08,341 And I'm not dead, but please don't stop on my account. 300 00:14:19,991 --> 00:14:21,083 Shh. 301 00:14:22,093 --> 00:14:23,390 It's definitely not him. 302 00:14:27,498 --> 00:14:28,795 PEELE: Honestly, Make-A-Wish, 303 00:14:29,513 --> 00:14:32,426 kind of a brilliant charity idea, 304 00:14:33,304 --> 00:14:36,432 because really, I mean, it just looks real good. 305 00:14:36,941 --> 00:14:38,568 - Well... - It looks real good. 306 00:14:38,643 --> 00:14:40,508 They get donations out their ass, Make-A-Wish... 307 00:14:40,578 --> 00:14:42,409 My thing is, I wonder if the Make-A-Wish people, like, 308 00:14:42,480 --> 00:14:44,812 it's like, "Oh, I'm gonna go parasailing with you." 309 00:14:44,882 --> 00:14:45,871 - Right. - That's my only thing. 310 00:14:45,950 --> 00:14:48,077 I'm like, "Wait a minute, do you get to go with the kid?" 311 00:14:48,152 --> 00:14:50,279 I thought you just organized the wishes, but... 312 00:14:50,354 --> 00:14:51,480 And then you went back to your office. 313 00:14:51,556 --> 00:14:54,889 - Why are you up in there parasailing? - Why are you going first? What the hell? 314 00:14:54,959 --> 00:14:57,359 - I'm the kid. - Are you sure that this kid's wish 315 00:14:57,428 --> 00:15:01,489 was to go to the bikini contest at carnival in Brazil? 316 00:15:01,566 --> 00:15:03,329 - They could be making that up. - Who knows, right? 317 00:15:03,401 --> 00:15:09,306 I'm not gonna just start giving all my money to people I don't know, right? 318 00:15:09,407 --> 00:15:10,601 - I mean, that doesn't... - Right. 319 00:15:10,675 --> 00:15:11,835 Well, that's... 320 00:15:13,377 --> 00:15:14,503 - That's charity. - I'm not... 321 00:15:17,181 --> 00:15:19,149 - (MONITOR BEEPING STEADILY) - (THUNDER BOOMING) 322 00:15:19,216 --> 00:15:20,205 (DOOR OPENING) 323 00:15:21,686 --> 00:15:24,280 Hi, you must be Liam. 324 00:15:25,289 --> 00:15:27,257 Hey, buddy, how are you feeling today? 325 00:15:29,293 --> 00:15:32,023 (HOARSELY) I'm feeling fine, Dr. Gupta. 326 00:15:32,863 --> 00:15:34,353 Just fine. 327 00:15:34,565 --> 00:15:38,228 This is Marion Glass, she's from the Make-A-Wish Foundation. 328 00:15:38,302 --> 00:15:40,964 Marion Glass. 329 00:15:41,038 --> 00:15:43,438 How are you feeling today, Liam? 330 00:15:43,908 --> 00:15:47,139 I'm fine, Marion Glass. 331 00:15:47,211 --> 00:15:51,045 Good. Well, I have some news that might make you feel a little better, huh? 332 00:15:51,282 --> 00:15:54,547 We at the Make-A-Wish Foundation make dreams come true 333 00:15:54,619 --> 00:15:58,919 for little boys and little girls who are very sick just like you. 334 00:15:59,590 --> 00:16:03,822 There are no children like me, Marion Glass. 335 00:16:04,195 --> 00:16:06,163 - Oh, of course not. - Of course not. 336 00:16:06,397 --> 00:16:09,491 You're one of a kind, but we're gonna make any dream come true 337 00:16:09,567 --> 00:16:11,694 - that you could ever have, okay? - Mmm-hmm. 338 00:16:11,769 --> 00:16:13,031 Anything? 339 00:16:13,104 --> 00:16:14,867 That's right, buddy. That's right. 340 00:16:15,339 --> 00:16:17,830 Would you like to play with your favorite basketball team? 341 00:16:17,908 --> 00:16:18,897 (GASPS) 342 00:16:21,212 --> 00:16:23,407 What about be Superman for a day? 343 00:16:23,881 --> 00:16:26,907 I wish to drown a man. 344 00:16:31,422 --> 00:16:32,411 What? 345 00:16:32,490 --> 00:16:35,516 To drown a man in the bathtub. 346 00:16:36,627 --> 00:16:41,462 To hold him down while the last breath escapes his body, 347 00:16:41,532 --> 00:16:43,727 and then bathe in that water, 348 00:16:44,402 --> 00:16:45,835 all the while singing, 349 00:16:46,470 --> 00:16:50,804 La-la, la-la La-la, la-la 350 00:16:52,243 --> 00:16:53,232 Liam. 351 00:16:54,745 --> 00:16:56,337 You said anything. 352 00:16:57,882 --> 00:17:00,680 Well, (CLEARS THROAT) Surely we don't want to hurt other people, 353 00:17:00,751 --> 00:17:02,150 now do we, kiddo? 354 00:17:02,219 --> 00:17:03,243 (BOTH LAUGH UNEASILY) 355 00:17:03,821 --> 00:17:08,121 Anything else? Fly in a hot air balloon or meet a celebrity? 356 00:17:08,492 --> 00:17:13,088 My new wish is to lean over the body of a dying man 357 00:17:13,164 --> 00:17:17,225 and put my lips on his, stealing his last breath. 358 00:17:17,768 --> 00:17:18,996 (INHALES) 359 00:17:19,070 --> 00:17:20,094 GUPTA: Liam. 360 00:17:20,171 --> 00:17:22,139 - No one will get hurt. - No, 361 00:17:22,206 --> 00:17:23,503 absolutely not. 362 00:17:23,574 --> 00:17:25,405 I don't even know where you... 363 00:17:25,476 --> 00:17:29,276 I wish to take all the prosthetic legs 364 00:17:29,346 --> 00:17:33,339 in the hospital and bind them together 365 00:17:33,417 --> 00:17:36,784 with the dried flesh of the dead 366 00:17:36,854 --> 00:17:41,985 into a webbed, massive creature and... 367 00:17:42,059 --> 00:17:43,048 Liam! 368 00:17:44,028 --> 00:17:46,656 - I am so sorry, Miss Glass. - It's all right. 369 00:17:46,731 --> 00:17:48,756 He, he doesn't know what he's saying. 370 00:17:48,833 --> 00:17:50,596 I wish to pee in your mouth. 371 00:17:50,668 --> 00:17:52,397 - What? - Both of you. 372 00:17:52,470 --> 00:17:54,563 - Mine? - Especially you. 373 00:17:54,638 --> 00:17:57,903 - Oh. - I wish to pee in both of your mouths. 374 00:17:58,909 --> 00:18:00,536 As I stand over you. 375 00:18:00,611 --> 00:18:03,239 I'll need a glass of water in 10 minutes. 376 00:18:03,314 --> 00:18:05,214 - Enough, you little shit! - Dr. Gupta! 377 00:18:06,083 --> 00:18:08,551 No. You are reprehensible. 378 00:18:09,053 --> 00:18:10,281 You are evil. 379 00:18:10,821 --> 00:18:14,052 - You are a devil child. - (WHIMPERING) 380 00:18:14,125 --> 00:18:17,652 GLASS: Dr. Gupta, he's not a devil child. He's just a child. 381 00:18:17,728 --> 00:18:19,662 You have no business working in a pediatric ward. 382 00:18:19,730 --> 00:18:21,220 - What? - I'm gonna report you. 383 00:18:21,298 --> 00:18:22,629 (CRYING) 384 00:18:23,701 --> 00:18:24,690 (DOOR SLAMS) 385 00:18:27,404 --> 00:18:31,670 Shame on you, Gupta 386 00:18:31,742 --> 00:18:36,236 Shame on you, Gupta 387 00:18:36,313 --> 00:18:39,305 You really upset Marion Glass. 388 00:18:40,484 --> 00:18:41,781 This is insane. 389 00:18:44,855 --> 00:18:47,585 You've made me question everything that I've ever 390 00:18:47,658 --> 00:18:51,788 believed about the essential goodness of children. 391 00:18:52,930 --> 00:18:55,831 Wish granted. 392 00:18:56,600 --> 00:18:59,330 - (INHALES) - (FLAT LINING) 393 00:18:59,537 --> 00:19:00,765 (GASPS) Liam. 394 00:19:13,517 --> 00:19:16,350 - (GASPS) - (GIGGLES) 395 00:19:16,420 --> 00:19:17,978 I am dying though. 396 00:19:18,055 --> 00:19:19,682 (FLAT LINING) 397 00:19:31,402 --> 00:19:32,460 (MONITOR BEEPING STEADILY) 398 00:19:32,536 --> 00:19:35,334 - Hi, Quentin. - Oh, doctor. 399 00:19:35,406 --> 00:19:37,431 I just wanted to report that the surgery went off 400 00:19:37,508 --> 00:19:41,069 without a hitch and that your heart transplant was a complete success. 401 00:19:41,145 --> 00:19:45,275 Oh, I'm so happy to be alive. 402 00:19:45,349 --> 00:19:48,182 I bet. I bet. Well, thankfully the Affordable Health Care Act 403 00:19:48,252 --> 00:19:50,652 allowed you to be insured and put on a donor list 404 00:19:50,721 --> 00:19:52,382 even with your pre-existing conditions. 405 00:19:53,224 --> 00:19:56,591 I'm truly, truly thankful. 406 00:19:56,660 --> 00:20:00,391 This is an instance of ObamaCare literally saving a life. 407 00:20:00,464 --> 00:20:02,557 ObamaCare? 408 00:20:02,633 --> 00:20:04,624 Oh, no, you don't. 409 00:20:04,702 --> 00:20:09,401 You are not putting big government into my body. 410 00:20:09,473 --> 00:20:10,804 (YELLS) 411 00:20:12,576 --> 00:20:13,907 (GRUNTING) 412 00:20:14,245 --> 00:20:15,234 Ugh. 413 00:20:15,779 --> 00:20:16,871 (LAUGHING) 414 00:20:18,816 --> 00:20:20,716 - Oh! - (GROANING) 415 00:20:24,488 --> 00:20:26,251 (LAUGHING) 416 00:20:27,291 --> 00:20:28,918 (FLAT LINING) 417 00:20:32,029 --> 00:20:34,691 Um, could you go get me some ice? 418 00:20:34,765 --> 00:20:37,461 We should probably save this. 419 00:20:43,707 --> 00:20:45,504 KEY: But what scares you? 420 00:20:45,576 --> 00:20:46,804 Because, I mean, I know that you're a connoisseur. 421 00:20:46,877 --> 00:20:49,573 I know that you get scared, but you're also a connoisseur. 422 00:20:49,647 --> 00:20:50,841 Mmm... 423 00:20:54,818 --> 00:20:56,581 - Poverty. - (CHUCKLES) 424 00:20:58,055 --> 00:21:00,990 - PEELE: The injustices of the real world. - KEY: Oh, my God. 425 00:21:08,465 --> 00:21:10,831 Why don't you just leave your car in the other parking lot, 426 00:21:10,901 --> 00:21:12,163 come over to my house. 427 00:21:12,236 --> 00:21:13,863 We build a pillow fort. 428 00:21:13,938 --> 00:21:16,065 You spend the night, and we watch a whole bunch 429 00:21:16,140 --> 00:21:17,505 of animated musicals and whatnot. 430 00:21:17,574 --> 00:21:19,303 Oh, you got Happy Feet and some Juicy Juice, 431 00:21:19,376 --> 00:21:21,037 - we got a deal. - Oh, you know we got that shit now. 432 00:21:21,111 --> 00:21:22,510 And a little bit, a little something there we go. 433 00:21:22,579 --> 00:21:23,568 There we go, dog.